I always struggled when I painted. Some thing was holding me back and I would always hit the wall some where. Always took life for granted and lived pretty loosely. Then I died, July 25th, 2017 and my whole world changed. I lost a bit of memory and the guard rails holding me back came down with it.
I had gone thru two years of pure stress, every thing was going wrong. Work was dropping off until there was nothing in 2016. Foreclosure, financial, kid and health problems built until I went down. I was in the kitchen after cleaning the house for a showing about the 40th time. It was lights out and I woke up three days later in the hospital being told “Your in the U of M heart clinic” I missed three bullets that day. The first was that Jame’ was in the house right behind me and called the ambulance right away. The second was that the neighbor was home, Chris Kaye a registered nurse who ran over and did CPR, cracked the ribs on me until the ambulance arrived. The third was that the ambulance crew told Jame’ I should be taken to U of M. Although it was almost twice as far away they would keep working on me till I got there. They jolted me eight times on the way to the hospital ! On the way to other hospitals they would have called it after two or three jolts. The doctors looked surprised when they came into the room after I was more coherent three days later and with a defibrillator implanted in me , ( didn’t ask for one). They told me that sixty percent of the people that this happens to outside of the hospital don’t make it the rest are hospitalized or in rehab for a month or two. I was one of the lucky ten percent and was out in nine days. However was back a couple weeks later with a blood clot in the arm that set me back quit a bit. Since then I look back and think, “Why me, how come I made it while others didn’t”. I count my mortality now, every sunset, every painting that I do now is a gift. We sold the house, got an RV, wrapped it around a hairpin turn on the Blue Ridge Highway and got another one with the insurance money. Painted out East, out West, Niagara Falls, Superstition mountain, Sedona, Georgia O’Keeffe Ghost Ranch and places in between. This is the last stage of my life and I’m painting with a light that was not in me before, putting it down now and not holding back.
I have lived more in the past year than the past ten years combined, Life is Good ! Carl